The Seanaholic Chronicles

Ugh...

2011-10-29T02:36:00.000-07:00

a rant for a second about the NBA lockout:

the owners are saying they'll go no higher than 50/50, but that's only for the Basketball-Related Income (BRI), which is the only money from which the players get paid. but the OWNERS still make money off the luxury boxes, and the additional rake from concessions and every other use for the arena, none of which the players get any share. so the players SHOULD get more than 50% because they're more than equally important to the success of the league.

it's not the owners who are exciting the fans, it's the owners who are willfully overpaying Sam Dalembert and Charlie Villanueva. it's not the players' fault the owners are idiots. they shouldn't have to pay for someone else's mistakes. it's ridiculous and befuddles me. if someone hires you and is willing to pay you a certain amount and the reserve from which they're paying you is only a fraction of the total amount of money they're making, wouldn't it make more sense to analyze the way the other fractions are being spent?

they should recognize the country's economic struggles and LOWER TICKET PRICES. then more butts are in the seats AND more money comes in. would you rather have one $10 or three $5's? it's simple, but the owners are too greedy to make a prudent decision that might, oh, SAVE their franchise because they're too afraid that people still won't show if the cost goes down. but the fans aren't going because they can't afford the freaking tickets, not because of disinterest, as evidenced by all the high TV ratings last season. those ratings, btw, were because of all the new PLAYER news, not because Mark Cuban was wearing a new extra medium tee or because Jim Dolan got some new Just For Men for his goatee.

i don't care if his beard is weird. i don't care how involved Cuban gets during the games. i watch to see the players and no one else. more than any other sport, they are the reasons people watch, the characters in the drama, exposed for all to see.

yes, the players are going to make a lot of money regardless. but, if you offered to give up about $160 million in negotiations, wouldn't you want the other side of the table to at least try to meet you some where in the middle of those concessions?

It's Not About You

2011-07-28T03:22:00.000-07:00

I'm a pretty resilient guy. It's not like I've had the worst life, but I haven't exactly been prancing through meadows either. It's hard sometimes -- especially when you're in the midst of the storm -- to make yourself available for others, but I know it's something that must happen and something which can help you find the freedom of healing. The last week and a half have been a classic example of that. I've been forced out of a place where I can digest my own happenings and have to make sure that others can do what needs to be done.

It would be nice to have some time for myself, but maybe this is where that's going to have to happen.

Almost

2011-07-04T14:21:00.001-07:00

So close to a dream, I can almost touch it.
I've just got to reach out and grab it.
No slippery fingers this time.

Foundation

2011-06-21T14:05:00.000-07:00

Everything can change in a matter of days. Most things we think are constants can vanish in seconds. The only true constant is the One who makes these things happen.

He is everlasting.

No amount of Earthly fluctuation can alter that.

Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

- Matthew 7: 24-25

He is the rock that keeps things steady in the midst of the storm.

Don't Call it a Comeback

2011-04-19T16:29:00.000-07:00

For whatever reason, I'm not a guy who can learn from others' mistakes. I have to feel the sting before I can realize that something is a bad decision or that someone is bad for me. Sure, I've got common sense and have kept myself out of potentially harmful relationships or from making potentially catastrophic decision, but many times I've still needed to get burned to understand that putting my hand in the (figurative) fire isn't a good idea.

We're not talking huge things, mind you, but big enough for me to be affected.

I made some bad decisions affect my mindset far longer than they should have.

While reading a column by one of my favorite sportswriters Bill Simmons (can't believe I just admitted that, but I guess after reading a vast majority of his columns and his 700-page book, I suppose it's true), I came across something he said while talking about Tiger Woods.

He's been beaten down for his transgressions -- not just his actions, but the backlash that stemmed from it -- and it altered everything about his life. But at The Masters he finally started playing like the old Tiger, the one that captivated audiences and left courses smoldering from his inferno. Here's what Simmons said, when talking about what he's supposed to say to his son when talking about Tiger:

"I am supposed to think that he's a poor role model -- that he's an adulterer, that he's selfish, that he's a phony, that he behaves badly on golf courses, that he's someone I wouldn't want my son to emulate some day. That's horses---. I want my son to know that people screw up, that nobody is perfect, that you can learn from your foibles. I want my son to watch "The Natural" someday, hear Roy Hobbs say, "Some mistakes you never stop paying for," and know that it's not just words in a movie. I want my son to know that you haven't lived until you've fought back, that you haven't won until you've lost, that you can't understand what it's like to relish something until you've suffered, too. I want him to understand that it's the 21st century, that we sit around picking our heroes apart all day, that we expect them to be superhuman at all times, that we get pissed off when they aren't, that it's hypocritical if you really think about it."

A couple lines stopped me dead in my tracks while reading. Clearly, I'm no hero, and I've never done anything so bad as Tiger's poor marital decisions, so it's a little different. But maybe I needed to read that line about living. And losing. And suffering. And maybe I needed to give myself a break for not being perfect. The only thing a perfectionist really knows is the life-long struggle to be something that can never be attained. Maybe it's OK to realize that last part.

The last few months, I've really been trying to find me again. Sure, we all change, but it just felt like something was "off". Bit by bit I've been making strides toward finding that lost man, reconciling what happened to me and my past decisions that may have affected those things. I am not perfect, but I don't have to be. Simply a human, on the verge of reclaiming everything.

In Remembrance

2011-02-17T23:59:00.000-08:00

My mom has always felt I needed a father figure. My biological wasn't there, so she's gone out of her way to find men from whom I could learn and grown. I was never too interested in all of that, feeling that things needed to be organic. It always felt so forced.

The same was true when she began dating someone while I was away in college. I resisted him every time he tried to have some sort of impact on my life. I hadn't had a father for my first 18 years, it made no sense to me to have one now. He never stopped trying.

Now, 11 years after he became the kind of man to my mother that she truly deserved, he is gone. And now I realize that the man who never could remember that I don't like nuts in cookies is the same one who never stopped supporting me in any way he could.

For that, I am forever grateful.

Lyman Gilbert.
Three-time bronze star recipient and World War II veteran.
Great and kind man.

jumping for joy

2011-02-14T00:59:00.000-08:00

It's hard for me to put myself "out there" romantically.

Not that I've never done it or anything. It's just...it always seems like when I really try to extend myself and let a girl know how I feel about her, it always ends up with me picking up the pieces.

It's enough to dent a guy's confidence. Don't get me wrong; I know exactly what I'm worth as far as a potential spouse and all that. I'd like to think I'm a pretty good guy and will be a great husband if that situation ever presents itself. But, come on...

Ever since I was a young buck, I've tried to woo the lady. Whether it was love notes in 5th grade on Valentine's Day or poems in college, I've kept coming up dry.

And yet, I find myself, once again on the ledge. Ready to leap.

Happy Valentine's Day everybody.

Saboteur

2011-01-28T15:38:00.000-08:00

(Soooo...that was a little longer "tomorrow" than I'd anticipated. Oops.)

My dating history is like one cautionary tale after another. That's not to say these ladies are bad people or whatever, but just aren't right with/for me. Most of them I've known -- on some level -- from the beginning.

In thinking about all this, I think I've really gotten down to the true root of it, but that's a little too personal for a public blog, so if you'd like to know you can ask. But I do believe I've nailed it down. I hope that it leads to meaningful growth with or without someone.

Revelation

2011-01-27T23:19:00.000-08:00

I've been rattling something around in my head for the last few days and it's too late to give the full hypothesis right now, so I'll just leave it by saying this...

I sabotage my own relationships.

More on this soon, most likely tomorrow.

Amazing

2010-12-25T23:23:00.000-08:00

Ever since my best friend Ryan* met his now wife Holly, my other best friend Josh and I have had a code for saying that a girl was marriage material.

After Ryan and Holly had been dating for a little while, he mentioned to us how she was amaaaaaazing. He might as well have been exhaling while he said it because we could just tell he was gone. He may not have told her he loved her for a bit after that and he may not have even known he did at the time, but it was pretty clear his heart was wrapped up in all things Holly.

So now, whenever we hear that one of us is seeing someone, we always ask the question:

But is she amaaaaazing?

More often than not, the answer comes back with a no. Since neither of us are in a relationship with marriage potential, I guess it's more than "more often than not." But it helps give us a guideline to go by. We could see the look in Ryan's eye, so now we actually know what it looks like. Artwork is much easier with a template as a guide.

As we get older and our friends have their own families with wives and kids and mortgages, it becomes more glaringly obvious that we don't have those things. I always thought once one of us got married, there would be palpable pressure on the other two. While it has been a learning experience at times adjusting to someone who has a different set of priorities now, it's also been much easier than previously thought to simply include Holly into our activities. And we've been blessed by her presence. Ryan knew what he was talking about. She is amazing.

But if ever there are times when there is a little pressure, maybe from parents or other friends, it helps to have someone in the same boat. A couple nights ago, we were talking about the difference between the ladies we normally go after versus the ones who'd be best for us. I mentioned how we shouldn't go into any situation knowing something would have to change for it to work out. Compatibility is hard enough without adding elements to the obstacle course.

It's easier to find a rose in a rose garden than in the desert. And if you look in the right place, who knows...might even find and amazing one.

*Ryan and Holly happen to be in Lebanon right now, doing some great things for a wonderful organization. No matter where they go next, I'm sure they'll leave their marks.

The Happiest Time of Year

2010-12-24T22:24:00.000-08:00

Normally, I'm a huge sucker for Christmas. It's always been my favorite time of year and Christmas Eve has consistently been perched atop my rankings for favorite day of the year. What began as a youthful infatuation with getting presents has evolved into a love of the time and atmosphere.

It's not the gifts that you remember years later, it's the way the Christmas tree smelled as you brought it into the house. Or how you nervously looked out the side mirror, praying that you wouldn't see an arbor silhouette cascading down the side of the car, backlit by the bokeh headlights of the cars behind you.

When we think back, it's all about the senses we felt, not the stuff we got.

Unfortunately, this year is being dominated by some pretty overwhelming feelings. It was a pretty tough year for me personally and it seems to be going out with a bang, crippling my mother's boyfriend along the way.

Being happy around this time wasn't a task growing up; it just was. This year it's been a hike. Long, slow and painful.

An Excerpt

2010-09-20T21:53:00.001-07:00

The red, white and blue sparkled like some sort of Independence Day
celebration. So why was I at the epicenter of the fanfare, losing mine?

Through my blurry eyes -- one swollen halfway shut by the butt of a
billyclub, the other from dented steering wheel -- I could see the
carnage outside from the back of the squad car. A taxi with the front
end engulfed by the trunk of a parked car. Water from a busted fire
hydrant sprayed into the air as the blue police lights danced off the
mist. And my rental truck propped up on the curb, the grill wrapped
around a street pole.

How could so much have changed in two weeks? From having the world as
my oyster to wanted for a crime I didn't commit, I could hear my pulse
while thinking about the prospect of my life behind bars.

Strong Cup of Coffee

2010-08-14T16:33:00.000-07:00

Second-year San Francisco 49ers running back Glen Coffee retired yesterday.

Now, taken at face value, it's probably a little startling but not incredibly so. After all, the average career span of an NFL running back is 1.5 years, 3.5 years when all positions are factored into the equation. Anyone who's played football has had to retire at some point in their lives. I retired about five years ago.

Even Brett Favre will have to retire at some point.

What makes Coffee's retirement so shocking -- aside from the fact that he was the main back-up to an oft-injured player on a team projected to win somewhere around 10 games this season -- is his reasoning for walking away.

It wasn't what God wanted.

From all that I've read about him coming out of Alabama and now in the pros, Coffee is a deeply spiritual man who listens to his conscience. He listens to the Lord.

How many times have we all known in our hearts what He wanted for us, what He wanted us to do, and have chosen to instead do what we want. Sure, He puts things on our hearts, but there are times when our desires don't match His.

Here's a Q&A where he explains his rationale behind his decision.

I wouldn't be surprised if some fans and members of the media pan Coffee for being selfish and not thinking about his teammates, but until you walk with Him, you can't understand a decision like this.

Even if they do come, something tells me Coffee wouldn't care too much about that. He lives for the eternal; who cares what people say?

Sweet Mama Jamba

2010-08-12T18:47:00.000-07:00

This week has been crazy at work... and it only gets worse from here, till about September 14th, anyway.

Dear Mr. Body Odor

2010-08-09T16:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. B.O.,

Let's call you Bo for short. I've been trying hard to avoid saying anything about this, so please excuse the length at which I'm going to go into this. Alas, sir, you've given me no choice.

I'm a big Seinfeld fan, but whenever I'd watch the episode where Jerry's valet has such bad body odor that it envelops Jerry's car to the point where he'd just give it away, I'd have a disconnect. I could never fully understand that scenario. Until now.

Let me just say that I love your work ethic. Whether I go in the morning or at night, it seems like you're there, about to put in some work. It may be that level of work, however, that has given you the strongest body odor I've ever smelled in my entire life. It is beyond b.o.

It overwhelms me.
Overpowers me.
It makes me want to stop working out, literally. I want to just stop what I'm doing and walk out of the building so that I can get some air. In those moments, I'll do anything to get some relief.

Honestly, I don't understand how others can be near you, Bo. I see you talking to them and I wonder whether or not their oflactory receptors are malfunctioning. I assure you that mine are not, sir. So please, PLEASE(!) put on some deodorant so that you can, you know, not smell like a Turkish sewer.

Thanks.

Your's Truly,
Sean

Under Construction

2010-08-07T14:25:00.000-07:00

Too often these days I stare at this screen, trying to think of something to say, and coming away with nothing but a cursor blinking away at me. Taunting me, like it knows I've got nothin'.

I've wanted to get back int o being better, if only to do something consistent away from going in to work and trying to keep from being overwhelmed by some guy's body odor while I sweat through my tattered, old shirts at the gym. (Seriously, same guy every time. People are always around him, chatting him up, too. I have no clue how they haven't been quarantined due to exposure yet.)

I know that for my own wellbeing, I need to -- Who else will make fun of Brett Favre? -- but for some reason, it's harder than just saying "Ok, let's' do it."

I'm not sure what to call it. Writer's block seems like too cliche an explanation, although it could very well be the truth. While rationalizing the fact that I don't have internet access at home would be handy, I know of ways to circumvent that. I just haven't done it too often.

I guess that's the preparation for saying this whole writing again thing seems to be more of a work in progress thing than I'd like. But it's getting better. I mean, right now. I'm writing, see? So that's a start. And then tomorrow, hope fully I'll write. Then Monday. And so on and so forth.

After all, I do have some subject matter. Like the horrible (horrible) drivers in Chicago. Or the aforementioned, supremely stinky gym rat. Or the old love life. Or the start of what could be my next "step." All good material. Maybe in the coming days, I'll get into a few of them. Until then, I guess just settle for the fact that I'm working on it...and am almost there.

Take that, cursor, you smug bastard.

Ok...

2010-06-22T22:01:00.001-07:00

Salma Hayek is on Jimmy Fallon right now.

DEFinitely still on the list...

Kindness Counts

2010-06-07T21:10:00.001-07:00

It's safe to say that I'd envisioned my life looking a bit different
at this moment when I was younger. To be sure, I've got some work to
do to get to that point.

Sometimes it gets to me, but I'm reminded by my family and friends
(seemingly always at the perfect time) that the story isn't ever
completely told halfway through the novel. The climax never comes at
the beginning of the story. Big-picture stuff, this IS early.
Sometimes I forget that. It does me good to hear that.

I'm thankful to those who help with kind words. I need more of that in
my life.

Getting That Old Thang Back

2010-05-30T20:16:00.000-07:00

So...

I originally thought I'd just come back and spill my guts, be as honest as possible and just open up. While I have no problem with doing that, I'm not sure how I feel about putting things on a forum as public as this. So I'll paraphrase and if anyone has any questions, I'm definitely able to discuss via email, phone or telegraph.

- My current work schedule has more to do with my not writing than anything else, as I go from 10-7 and don't really feel like being around a computer after spending my entire day staring at one.

- Turning 28 (yikes!) has intensified the whatintheworldamidoingwithmylife!? inner monologue. I don't like to sound like a broken record, so I haven't written about such things.

- The age thing has also increased my desire to patch up the holes in the holes in ship, to put more than a band-aid on the old wounds. It's made me want to seek genuine healing, which is something with which I'm not incredibly familiar. I should have a relatively large update on that front within the next week or so.

So yes. I'm moving in the right direction with some things and figuring out how to move in the right direction with some other things.

No more "365" but I'll still try to be as consistent as I can. I just ask for some patience and understanding if I'm not.

Where I've Been

2010-05-23T20:10:00.000-07:00

Well, not here. I'll elaborate more in just a little bit.

BRB.

An excerpt

2010-02-15T16:35:00.000-08:00

The sun was particularly mean that day. On second thought, it could have been the humidity. The air was so thick, I could feel my body ready to drip with every movement I made. Seemed like she could feel it too. I looked over at her perfect face, the one with the kind eyes that would dance like fireflies in an autumn dusk and the lips that seemed to ooze nectar they were so sweet. There were a few tiny beads of sweat forming on her forehead, just between her eyebrows, despite the fact that we were just sitting and watching the wind turn the thickly covered hillside into waves of color. I took my thumb and gently cast the perspiration aside. She thanked me and the wind blew her hair over her face. As she pulled it away, I leaned in closer and saw sparks in her eyes. My lips pressed against hers and I saw them too.

Who Dat!?

2010-02-07T21:06:00.000-08:00

Congrats to the Saints for getting the job done in Super Bowl XLIV.
I'll write more about it tomorrow, but they kept fighting and bent but
didn't break against the best QB of the time, Peyton Manning. Well
done guys. Let's hope this success will spur further recovery from
Hurricane Katrina. Entire blocks are still vacant.

Let's fill them up.

Sent from my iPhone

The Peacock vs. The Rooster

2010-01-14T22:14:00.000-08:00

For years I've been a fan of NBC programming.

Before I even knew what it was, I was watching its shows. Over the
years, it's given me Frasier and Friends, The Office and 30 Rock; not
to mention SNL and my favorite comedy series of all time, Seinfeld. To
be sure, I've loved watching it.

My most "meaningful" show, though would have to be Late Night with
Conan O'Brien. It was by far my favorite talk show and was the viewing
material for many a late-night 203 sighting. It was Conan's hop that
we mimmicked, his string dance that we laughed at, his stupid skits
that we joked about the next day.

So you can imagine my joy when I heard he was taking over The Tonight
Show for the unfunny 'comedian' known as Jay Leno. Not only would he
get more coverage, but it wouldn't be so late, which is always a plus.
I stay up late; I shouldn't feel like I have to.

Then came the news on Monday that because Leno's show stunk so bad,
the clever execs decided to move him back to 11:35 and try to bump
Conan to 12:05. How is it The Tonight Show if it comes on the next
day? It's automatically invalid. It's bad enough that Jay couldn't
just leave on the terms by which he'd agreed so they felt the need to
undercut Conan and give him his own show.

Now they're doing it again. They are idiots, these NBC executives. So
afraid to let go of their old, tired horse, their mismanagement of the
situation has cost them their thoroughbred.

Conan is more likely than not to be leaving to who knows where. The
only thing I know is that whatever channel he winds up on, I'll be
there to watch. Because what NBC failed to realize was that it's not
the person pulling the trigger that makes a gun so dangerous, it's the
bullet within the gun. How are they going to do any damage shooting
with blanks?

Heat Wave

2010-01-11T18:16:00.000-08:00

Back when it was starting to get chilly (or consistently into the
40s), one of my coworkers told me the day would come when I prayed for
40 degrees.

I laughed it off, knowing how cold it was going to get, but also
holding the mindset that I could get through it without that much of a
problem.

Now, 17 straight days of sub-freezing temps completed, I can
understand what my coworker was talking about.

It's supposed to be 35 degrees in a couple days and I'm pretty
excited. Honestly, I'm just fired up at the potential that the ice on
my winshield wipers might finally melt.

Pere et Roi

2010-01-07T16:21:00.000-08:00

Dear Father,

How have you been? It feels like forever since I wrote you; I'm sorry for that. On the bright side, we've still been talking just as much as before. I hope You think that's more important than whether or not I write you letters on my blog. I think it is, so I feel good about that. These last couple of years have been so strange, haven't they? Well, they probably aren't to You. I mean, You know the end of the story, so You know why everything had to happen the way it did whereas I'm still trying to figure it out. I love jigsaw puzzles -- especially the big, difficult ones -- but this has been stumping me. I know You know better than I do, though, so don't worry. I'm still trusting You.

Since this is still the beginning of this year, I just thought I'd write and ask you for one thing here, maybe a few others in private. Please help me to become the man You want me to be. I know a lot of that is up to me too and I'm working on that. But I also know that You can move mountains and change climates and affect things like no other, so I just thought I'd ask you for some help too. I know they aren't the same, but still. You know me. :)

So yes, that is all. I hope Your year is wonderful as well. I'll make sure I can do whatever I can to help make it a good one.

Back At It

2009-12-27T01:39:00.001-08:00

Three years ago, to the day, I began a weight-loss program that was to change my life -- or at least my stature. I was fed up with the size at which I'd lived virtually my entire life up to that point and was determined to change that reality. The goal was to lose 66 pounds in the next year. I put no specific time requirements on myself other than to lose it by the end of the 2007 calendar year.

I lost 63 in 6 months.

When I got so close to my goal, I relaxed and never tasted the finish line. Noooooot quite. For the better part of two years, I kept it off really well. I went to the gym every day regardless of how tired I was and was able to get all new clothes. Out of the doubles and into the Xs. I was pretty happy about that.

But then I slowly began to put it back on.

I went on a cruise with one of my best friends. I'm not sure if any of you have been on a cruise, but it's basically a boat full of "free" food that's accessible at all hours of the day or night. After a couple of adult beverages, a piece of tasty pizza sounds pretty good at 2:00 in the morning. I was able to do some damage control following that weekend, but I could feel it sliding a bit.

Then I moved out to Chicago, which doesn't have a 24-Hour Fitness, so I was left to run on my own instead of lifting and using the machines. Turns out the machines were good at keeping stress off my knee because after about a month of running 3 miles 3 times a week, my right knee began to ache. So, I stopped. And the gaining started.

I've probably gained 20 since I moved, which is unacceptable for me. I refuse to go back to that size. It cannot happen. That is why, with the help of the sturdy weights at the World Gym, I will be losing the last 40. This time, there is a goal...May 7th, also known as my 28th birthday. It's ambitious, but definitely feasible.

Goal weight by 28.
My new mantra.

I've done it before. I will do it again. And even better this time.

Geniuses

2009-12-26T00:15:00.001-08:00

Nike, that is.

In anticipation of the hype surrounding two of their top sellers playing each other on Christmas Day -- namely, Kobe Bryant and LeBron James -- Nike decided to bring back the Kobe/LeBron puppets from last year's playoffs. Their missed opportunity at a Finals showdown became some of the funniest commercials out there right now. Throw in Lupe Fiasco as Blitzen and KRS-One as Santa and you have three instant classics.

Enjoy...

Merry Christmas Blitz!

Who Stole Christmas?

2009-12-24T22:05:00.000-08:00

Wow.

Almost a month since my last post. It was a while. I'll most likely get into all of the reasons as to why I couldn't post another day, but for now there's something much more important going on...we have a birthday to celebrate!

That's right, the Big Guy's Son -- well, kinda -- is having His birthday in less than two hours. And while I'm definitely excited for that, I'm not so much pumped about all the other stuff...the materialistic me me me of this season has become much worse than I remember. It saddens me.

This day, Christmas Eve, used to be my favorite day of the year. Not because the next day was the day I'd get to open my presents or because my favorite Christmas special was being broadcast on television. There was something palpable about Christmas Eve that doesn't seem to be there anymore -- a certain crispness in the air that I haven't felt in a few years.

My cousin Catrina got me some Grinch boxers to sleep in (and believe me I will), but I don't know if he'll be able to steal Christmas this year. He may shimmy down the chimney and tiptoe across the hall, only to find that everything's been taken already...by greed, selfishness, petty feelings and an unsatisfied consumer base.

Perhaps I'm the fool. Maybe I'm the one who bought into the sales pitch disguised as Christmas cheer and was wrong the whole time. Perhaps that "smell of Christmas" was really just pine trees on ever block. Who knows.

If anything good does come from it, I hope it's the realization that without Christ, there would be no Christmas anything. No trumped up stories about Santa or Pere Noel. No reindeer with bright red noses who would be pretty useful in Oklahoma right about now.

Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. If so, then praise be.

A Quickie

2009-11-28T22:08:00.001-08:00

Apologies for the last couple of days...Thanksgiving combined with moving have made it harder to post. I recognize also that I need to make picks again. So...here we go. Quick but sweet...bold team is the winner.

Tampa Bay at Atlanta
Miami at Buffalo
Cleveland at Cincinnati
Seattle at St. Louis
Carolina at NY Jets
Washington at Philadelphia
Indianapolis at Houston
Kansas City at San Diego
Jacksonville at San Francisco
Chicago at Minnesota
Arizona at Tennessee
Pittsburgh at Baltimore
New England at New Orleans

And to be honest about the other games, had I picked them, I would have wound up 2-1 on the day. I would have picked the Giants.

It's Crazy

2009-11-23T21:45:00.001-08:00

I don't know what happened...

I woke up this morning, showered, dressed and left the house with no sweater or jacket.

It was 44 degrees out.

This Cali kid a few months ago would have never done that. Ok, well that's not completely true...I might have. But I would have lamented the cold for sure. Today, not so much.

I know it's just the tip of the iceberg, what if...I've already assimilated?

Cwazy thought.

The Unknown

2009-11-22T20:26:00.000-08:00

If I had the answers to many of life's (in particular, my own) questions, things would be much easier, obviously.

I would already know just why God wants me in Chicago.
I would know just what He wants for my life.
I would be able to sell my services out to everyone because we all have those questions.

But if I did have all the answers, nothing would be unknown. I'd be more likely to take the little things for granted because I know the end result. A few of my friend have run marathons recently and during their trainings, they take things slowly. They don't just go out and run a full marathon, they start little and work their way to the end result. Life needs to be like that.

We need to work and trust that the end result will be what we think it can be. I need to do that...and work for the glory of the Lord.

It would be nice to know, but then there'd be no surprise.
I love surprises.

In It To Win It

2009-11-19T18:45:00.000-08:00

Chances are, when she won the 2008 World Junior Championships race some 13 months ago, South African runner Caster Semenya didn't think she was trying to fool anyone. She entered as a woman because that's what she is.

But following the 2009 World Championships in Berlin in early August, the 18-year-old's gender was called into question after she shattered her previous personal record for the second time in two races, flexing her protruding biceps in celebration.

That's where it got interesting for the young woman with the rippling abs and innocent smile, who was so affected by the scrutiny she was receiving, she couldn't take her college finals. A rumor came out that she had both male and female sex organs. She was asked to take more gender tests.

So many people cared about what she was, not so much about who she was.

"She is my little girl," her father Jacob Semenya told a Sowetan newspaper as speculation mounted. "I raised her and I have never doubted her gender. She is a woman and I can repeat that a million times."

I can't imagine what it would be to have a daughter whose very gender is questioned, but I know how vehemently I would defend it.

On Thursday, it was announced that the International Association of Athletics Federations would allow her to keep her medal and prize money. No word yet on whether or not she'll still be allowed to compete with women. The South African sports ministry also said they would not release the findings of her gender test.

"Whatever scientific tests were conducted legally within the IAAF regulations will be treated as a confidential matter between patient and doctor," it said. "As such there will be no public announcement of what the panel of scientists has found. We urge all South Africans and other people to respect this professional ethical and moral way of doing things."

Whatever the results, she shouldn't be made some public spectacle or cheater. She didn't cheat. She played within the rules her body allowed her, whatever that may mean.

No matter what they say, those results don't change the fact that she's a human being just like the rest of us. And that's more important than any race she could ever win or the results of any test.

Mini Pick - Week 11

2009-11-18T17:28:00.000-08:00

Another week, another Thursday game to catch people off guard. It'd be nice to bounce back from my 8-6 effort last week and there's no better time than the present!

Miami at Carolina: I'm not sure why some analysts are so fired up about the Panthers now that they've won a couple of games. They're still 4-5 and, to me, are just as good as their record indicates. They'll finish either 8-8 or 7-9. Good, just not good enough. The Dolphins are supposed to be better than they are defensively and more limited offensively than they appear to be. They took a big hit losing Ronnie Brown for the rest of the year, but they should be OK with the rejuvenated Ricky Williams taking over the lead role. At least this week...and against the Panthers and interception waiting to happen, Mr. Jacob Delhomme.

Dolphins, 24-17

Loyal Flock

2009-11-16T23:22:00.001-08:00

When the sheep follow the shepherd, they find pasture.

Praise be to the Shepherd.

In Review (so far)

2009-11-15T19:22:00.000-08:00

If there was a sound to go with my picks this week, it'd be this...

Week 10 Picks

2009-11-14T19:59:00.000-08:00

Fresh off my fairly mediocre first week of picking, I'm confident this week will be better for me, despite some pretty tough games on the schedule. I've already gotten one in the books, so hopefully 14 more follow.

New Orleans at St. Louis: Could we see the first game in NFL history where one offense plays for both teams? That's the only way that the Rams could possibly win this game. That offense is sooo, so bad. If only Steven Jackson could clone himself.

Saints, 38-10

Tampa Bay at Miami: Coming off their first win of the season, the Bucs take on the Dolphins and that Wildcat offense. Tampa has the No. 30 rushing defense in the league and Miami's strength is running the ball. What could we see? Is 300 yards too much to ask? We'll see.

Dolphins, 27-13

Detroit at Minnesota: Let me just say that this is my survivor pick this week. I just don't see any way the Vikings lose. They're fresh off the bye. They have AP. They have some old dude at QB. They're tough at home. Detroit is better, but it still sucks. Writing's on the wall.

Vikings, 31-10

Jacksonville at NY Jets: I've seen some people make this their "upset special" in favor of the Jaguars and I can understand why. Ever since that quick start, the Jets have been underwhelming, losing four of their last five games. Coming off the bye, though, they should have righted the ship and have a good game against a tougher-than-their-record Jags team.

Jets, 16-14

Buffalo at Tennessee: The Vince Young Revival Tour returns home to face a Buffalo team that plays hard on defense, but can't figure things out on offense. I don't think the first two games with non-schitz VY were a fluke. I think it continues and the Titans take another step toward erasing that dreadful start.

Titans, 24-17

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh: One of the first big, big games of the week. I wish it was the Monday night game. Anything but seeing the Browns. As it stands, this game will go a very long way toward determining who wins the AFC North, especially if the Bengals win. The Steelers have just been laying in the weeds, beating team after team and seem to be firing on all cylinders. Cincinnati still has people wondering if they're for real, even after all the people they've beaten. Unfortunately for them, I think they'll still have to answer those questions after this game.

Steelers, 24-20

Denver at Washington: In my survivor picking, I've adhered to one policy: stay as far away from the Redskins as possible. They're impossible to select with confidence. The Broncos, on the other hand, are just...well, they're not as good as their record and until they realize that they have one of the most explosive players in the league on their roster, then they'll remain that way. The will, however, get a win.

Broncos, 28-14

Atlanta at Carolina: Whether or not DeAngelo Williams plays will factor greatly into this one. Atlanta is better than its record and if Williams doesn't play, it might be tough for them to control the clock, which is necessary when you have Jake Delhomme as your quarterback. If he does, it still might be a long day.

Falcons, 31-21

Kansas City at Oakland: All of one team's strengths are the other one's weaknesses. Who knows what happens. I'm a reformed Raiders fan, so I may have some pent up aggression towards Al Davis in this pick. They're both in turmoil, they both have holes everywhere. I don't know who to pick, honestly, but since the Raiders are home, I'll go with them.

Raiders, 17-10

Seattle at Arizona: The Cardinals are terrible at home. The Seahawks are terrible on the road. Who knows what will happen in this one. Last week's win against the Bears should propel Arizona to the win.

Cardinals, 23-20

Dallas at Green Bay: The Packers' loss last week to the Bucs was the nail in their coffin. They'll win more games, but emotionally, that game was tough to take. It won't get any better for them this week against a Cowboys team that realizes just how good it is. Dallas' pass rush will make it a long day for Rodgers, getting to him early and often.

Cowboys, 31-24

Philadelphia at San Diego: This could be a great one, with two offenses that can score from anywhere on the field. The Eagles always lose some tough ones and people count them out and then they win and win and win some more. This could be the beginning of their late-season run they always seem to make.

Eagles, 35-27

New England at Indianapolis: The other HUGE game of the week. I could probably write a full blog about this one on its own, but I'll keep it short and sweet. The Colts have plenty of issues, more than the Patriots, actually. But they also have Peyton Manning, who has made a career of making up for Indy's deficiencies. Nothing seems to affect him, be it poor defense over the years or lack of proven receivers outside of Reggie Wayne this year. New England is hitting its stride, and Tom Brady seems to have forgotten about his bionic knee. It'll be as good as advertised, that's for sure, with it coming down to a late-game drive by Peyton to decide it one way or another.

Colts, 24-21

Baltimore at Cleveland: Ugh. I refuse to waste finger-typing calories on the Browns. Ray Lewis will destroy Brady Quinn and laugh about it. Ravens win.

Ravens, 30-12

Mini Pick

2009-11-11T20:36:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm not prepared to summarize the entire week's slate of games, but I'll be able to before the end of the week. But since there's a game tomorrow, I'll make sure to pick that one here right quick...

Bears at 49ers: Kind of ironic that the first Thursday night game, which will give both teams only three days to prepare for each other, is a game between two teams that desperately need to win if they're to find a way into the playoffs. I knew I should have picked against the Bears last week even though they'd won the week before because they are probably the most inconsistent team in the league right now. Given how consistently inconsistent they are, I should pick them to win this game on the road against a team more physical than them. It only makes bizarro sense. I almost want to pick them just because of that. Alas, I actually do think the Niners will win. They need it too much and I just can't believe that Mike Singletary won't have his team ready, despite the impossibly short week.

49ers, 27-21

By the way...I went 8-5 last week. I got some bad beats, but on a few (like the Colts) I was almost perfect. Here's to hoping I do better this week!

S.O.S.

2009-11-10T20:31:00.000-08:00

For many student athletes, the playoffs are the one of the most fun times of their lives.

For me, however, it just means extra work.

Help!

Answer Me This

2009-11-09T19:52:00.000-08:00

I've heard it said, by people who would know better than me, that Allen Iverson -- all 6-foot, 165 lbs. of him -- is one of the ultimate competitors in the NBA.

For 12 seasons, he has put his body on the line against players taller and wider than himself. Towards the end of last season, after he'd been traded to his third team in three years, the daily beatings took their toll and his back began to act up.

Things aren't as easy when you're playing with teammates who were born in a different decade than you. The paint seems to close up a little quicker when those defenders grew up watching you star at Georgetown or cross up MJ as a rookie.

When you're in your mid-30s in the NBA and were playing with a style predicated on quickness and toughness, things are bound to catch up with you. Kobe Bryant -- who was never the highest leaper or quickest player in the NBA, just the most lethal -- has already realized this, even at age 31 and has begun to make changes to his game. He spent time with center Hakeem Olajuwon during the offseason to help develop his post-up game. He knew that in this league, only the proactive survive.

Iverson seems shocked to be forced to react to his current reality: he's no longer viable as a starter. He may be one of the most competitive players of this era, but when age is your opponent, it's not a matter of winning or losing. It's a matter of minimizing your losses.

He has gone on record as saying he'll never come off the bench. He'd rather retire than be a long-term reserve. After a long offseason, in which many teams were interested in Iverson -- just not enough to sign him for the money for which he was asking -- Allen signed with the Memphis Grizzlies for a one-year deal. Presumably, it would give them a year of bolstered attendance and him a chance to plug in the respirator to his ailing career.

Instead, it may be the end.

The Grizzlies never guaranteed him a starting spot and, sure enough, he started the season on the bench after getting injured during the preseason. Now he's requested to take a leave of absence from the team for "personal reasons." Who knows what's behind those personal reasons. It could be something benign. It could have nothing to do with his immense disappointment in the fact that he's stuck coming off the bench on a team with one win.

For his sake, I hope it has nothing to do with that. But if it is about that, then we may have seen one of the most shocking moments of the season:

The day one of the most competitive men in the NBA quit.

The New Neighborhood

2009-11-08T21:03:00.001-08:00

This is the street on which I'll be living, starting November 30.

Northside.
About a 10-15 minute walk from Wrigley.
Thank you, Lord.

I Pick'em

2009-11-07T20:57:00.000-08:00

I'm hoping to parlay my accuracy with my survivor picks to every NFL game. I'll keep track during the rest of the season, so we can see just how good (or bad) I am. I'll try to keep these short since there are so many. Alright, there we go:

Redskins at Falcons: Since this is my survivor pick, I'm going to stay with Atlanta. I just don't trust Washington and I don't think any person who isn't a sadist could be a Redskins fan right now. They just...I can't even put into words the frustration that comes with thinking about the Skins. They're talented, but they have zero cohesion. Atlanta is too good to let this team beat them.

Falcons, 35-17

Cardinals at Bears: Living in Chicago, I almost feel compelled to say Bears without even thinking about it. Deeper inspection tells a similar story. The Bears, who are as consistent week to week as a sun dial on a cloudy day, always play better at home. I'm going to give this one to Chicago against the Boldin-less Cards.

Bears, 28-24

Ravens at Bengals: The first matchup this season featured the Bengals winning in thrilling fashion. I don't think this one is as exciting. Baltimore is always tougher the second time around, regardless of where it is. Ray Lewis may not be the player he once was, but he's still good enough to rise to the occassion when his team needs it. Here's saying the Ravens get that win they need to stay in wild-card contention.

Ravens, 21-10

Texans at Colts: This is an interesting little game. If the Texans are ever going to quit being an 8-8 team and finally reach the playoffs, they'll have to start winning games like this, against Indianapolis on the road. Meanwhile the Colts look to stay perfect and do so without Bob Sanders. It's not as easy to pick as you might think. Indy is only getting 4.5 by the linemakers and you automatically get 3 for being at home. I agree.

Colts, 21-17

Dolphins at Patriots: The Pats still remember how Miami ran all over them last year. Belichick doesn't forget; robots are funny like that. I think they'll have a little something cooked up for Ronnie Brown, Ricky Williams and that Wildcat offense. New England is beginning to hit its stride at the perfect time with the Colts coming up next week.

Patriots, 31-19

Packers at Buccaneers: Everything points to Green Bay winning this game. It's rookie QB Josh Freeman's first start as a pro, Tampa is just awful this year and the Packers will look to bounce back after the bitter taste of losing to Brett Favre last week. But I just have a feeing...playing at home...in those disgusting creamsicle jerseys...that the Bucs find a way to pull off the upset.

Bucs, 17-14

Chiefs at Jaguars: Ugh...I don't like this game. The only thing worse than having to pick this game is having to watch it. I hope I don't have to. It's probably God's grace that keeps this game blacked out in Jacksonville. Spare them the horror. Let's move on...

Jaguars, 19-10

Lions at Seahawks: The only thing going for the Seahawks at this point is that Matt Hasselbeck isn't hurt right now and that they're playing at home. Since I have Calvin Johnson, I'm going to pick him to get two TDs, especially against that poooooor Seattle pass defense. Alas, it won't be enough.

Seahawks, 21-14

Panthers at Saints: Just when you think they're done, Carolina keeps on kicking. They just...wont...die! Oh, but they will against New Orleans, which has one of the only true homefield advantages left in the NFL. I've never been, and I sure hope to go some day, but I've heard the Superdome is loud, especially when full. Jake Delhomme can only be successful in quiet places when the opposition only has eight guys on the field, none of which are DBs. Saints win going away.

Saints, 34-13

Chargers at Giants: Earlier, Tom Coughlin said this week this game would be a "one-game season." They have to win this week to keep pace in the playoff race. This is a team built for the postseason, not being the third-best in its division. If New York has any moxie left from its Super Bowl team, it'll get the win. San Diego is just as in need of a win, but I don't think it'll matter.

Giants 24-20

Titans at 49ers: Let me just say that I love Mike Singletary. He's very close to reaching the list of "Men I try to model my life after." The only people on that list right now are Tony Dungy, Derek Fisher and my mentor. He's a man of conviction and I believe will be a great coach in this league. I think he gets the Niners get past their recent issues and the Titans, despite Vince Young not wanting to die anymore.

49ers, 24-21

Cowboys at Eagles: This will probably be the best game of this week. I'm truly excited, and not just because I have Donovan McNabb on my fantasy team. The scoring should be plentiful, the excitement should be high and the drama should be right up there with the best games of this year. The Cowboys are back playing well, but there's just something about these Eagles. I have them going to the Super Bowl this year. They need to win these kinds of games for that to happen.

Eagles, 35-31

Steelers at Broncos: I remain unconvinced about Denver and last week's loss to the Ravens only pushed me further to thinking they're a sham. Pittsburgh is always good in those games they have to have and I don't think this will be any different. They will harass and confuse Kyle Orton and Ben Roethlisberger will do more than he needs to to get the road win.

Steelers, 24-14

Proximity

2009-11-06T22:20:00.000-08:00

It could have been so different.

I was so close.

...

So close.

I'm a Survivor

2009-11-05T21:38:00.001-08:00

At work, we've got a little survivor pool for the football season. For
anyone who doesn't know how it works, basically, every person who
entered the pool at the beginning of the season picks a team to win
that week. If their team loses, they're out. If they win, they live to
pick another week, but can never use that team again.

I'd like to think I'm pretty knowledgable when it comes to the NFL
(and just football in general) so picking has been pretty easy for
me...so much so that I'm going to start picking games on here every
week. I'm not sure which day between tomorrow and Saturday, I'll
figure it out soon.

As far as the one at work is concerned, I'm still very much alive with
plenty of good teams from which I can still choose. It's fun, it's
(becoming more) challenging and, well, let's just say I hope I win.

I like my chances.

No Excuses

2009-11-04T18:46:00.000-08:00

I've been grossly negligent.

It's been about a week since I've posted and, while there are plenty of reasons for that absence, the could also probably be seen in some way as excuses. I used to make some for myself, but I'm trying to get away from that, take ownership of the reasons why things are the way they are and then correct that symptom.

So...no excuses. I'll try to be better, no matter how long that means I've got to stay up or write. I committed to this, so I've got to see it through. I've also got to make these more substantive....I realize sometimes I just don't talk about much of anything. I'll correct that one as well.

That said, here are some thoughts from today:

I kind of want to see that James Cameron movie, Avatar.
I'm totally excited to be moving into the city. More on that later.
As much as I love it, I'm glad baseball is over. Once the Dodgers lost, I lost all focus there.
Totally thankful Holly is OK.
When is Pau Gasol coming back? Ugh.

Thanks to my (not so new) job, I've made some friends, one of which happens to be Web designer, so be on the look out for seanmoses.com. It should be coming some time in the near future. Well, at least the future. haha.

Short But Sweet

2009-10-26T18:38:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm not going to get into the specifics of this quite yet. I'll do it tomorrow, but there are some crazy things going on in the world of sports these days. Actually, I'll do it Wednesday; tomorrow's a special Lakers day!

NFL coaches losing their teams.
The most powerful country in the world losing an Olympic bid.
The Kings are actually good in hockey! (wohoo!)
And, well, the Yanks are back in the World Series...~~gag me now~~.

Vapid

2009-10-25T20:16:00.000-07:00

I really can't think of a thing.

I could talk about how today I booked my flight home for Christmas and how excited I am to see my friends and family because it's been five months since I've seen them and will have been seven by then. I've missed them all.

I could talk about how I found a place to live in the city and that it might be small, but it seems just right for right now.

I could talk about the pitfalls of a long-distance relationship and how hard it is when you can't see the person you want to because you don't make enough at the moment for the airfare...how even the most patient people can lose it at times.

I could talk about how, for whatever reason, I'm having a hard time getting over my hesitance to get back into church and how my knowledge that I need to somehow doesn't correspond with action.

I could talk about plenty of things, obviously. But the ability to be creative with those things, at least right now, isn't happening. Just facts.

On To The Next One

2009-10-22T18:33:00.000-07:00

Fresh off the disappointment of something I choose not to mention, I've decided the best way to get over the bad feelings that have been left (for the second straight year) is to simply move on to the next thing on the list.

That's right, the World Champion Los Angeles Lakers begin their season in a few short days! I'd like to thank the Dodgers for allowing me to focus all my energy on them because they are my No. 1 sports team. Period. The end.

I was born just about a block away from what was then the Great Western Forum, then lived about 2 blocks away for the first few years of my life. I was hard-wired with purle and gold data. It's just part of who I am.

The one bad thing that I'll acknowledge is that sometimes I get into it a little too much. But any years I take off my life from feeing the tension are well worth it to celebrate title after title after title after title.

It's like eating a nice steak. Sometimes, even though you know it might clog the arteries, the taste is just too good to turn down. I can't wait to sink my teeth into this season.

Oh Dodgers...

2009-10-21T21:42:00.001-07:00

Why must you hurt me so?

The First Casualty

2009-10-19T19:42:00.000-07:00

I've never had the most supple of skin. It gets dry about as fast as a water hole in the African savannah. But this, what's happening now, is ridiculous.

As you can see down below this post, I made a comment about how I'm not really ready for the winter yet. Let me be clear: November - February snow I'm ok with. I'm expecting that. I know where I live. October snow though? Nope, no thanks. Veto.

As it's been getting colder, I've noticed my skin has just not liked it very much. Already supa-dry, this doesn't usually happen until really late in the game.

Elbow's all itchy.
Face doesn't want to stay moisturized.
Lotion me up! I'm in need.

Lasers!

2009-10-18T11:25:00.001-07:00

I just can't get enough of it...ugh, I can't wait for this CD!

An excerpt

2009-10-17T20:25:00.000-07:00

My eyelids burned even before I opened them. The sunlight pierced through as I squinted them open. I didn't want to wake up. I knew nothing had changed from the night before, when I'd spent to much time thinking about the way things should have been. I was tired of thinking about it, tired of trying without getting any results for my efforts, tired of my laboring without any fruit sprouting. I'd felt defeat before, but never like this...and every time I staggered to my feet, something else would take my breath. Like trying to stay upright on a floor full of ball bearings, I awoke uneasy, hesitant and unwilling to move.

I turned my head to look at the clock, the alarm of which had been going off for some 10 minutes before my brain decided to acknowledge it and wake me up. I stared at the colon until the numbers blurred and lay there motionless. After a few minutes, I pulled the dirty blanket off me, sat up for a second and walked to the bathroom to shower. Whether I liked it or not, it was time for another day.

Fall

2009-10-17T14:32:00.000-07:00

Aaah...

Cold Snap

2009-10-12T19:59:00.000-07:00

It looms over my head, like some dissonant, ominous music in a horror film. I know I'm OK now, but in the future? Hmm...

When I moved to the Midwest, I knew at some point there would be something I've never experienced for any long period of time. You know, bitter, numbing cold. I thought about it, and wasn't too afraid of it, but now that it's almost here, I'm not so sure what's to come.

People keep just assuming it's going to be some tragic experience for me, the Cali kid, but I'm not sure. I mean, it's just a little cold...and snow...and ice...and snow...and cold...and...ummm...what else?

So yea, as I make my way through this winter, I ask for any handy tips or anything that might help me deal with the cold weather and driving in it. And not losing any appendages in it. I like my appendages. They suit me just fine.

Friends

2009-10-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

I'm the kind of guy that likes to be inclusive. I'll intentionally gravitate toward those who are less fortunate or something. I don't like the idea of people feeling like outcasts.

So, when one of my best friends Ryan started dating the woman who eventually became his wife, the last thing I wanted her to feel like was the fourth wheel to our group of friends. We have a very strong friendship that has left others feeling ostracized at times. I knew how much he liked her and I didn't want her to feel like she couldn't hang out with us.

In those efforts, I found out that she's a pretty cool person. Not only that, but she cares about some pretty cool things, like human rights and non-violent resistance and, you know, treating people like equals.

Anyway, her blog is pretty cool and I value her friendship so I just thought I'd say so.

My Heartbeat

2009-10-10T11:36:00.000-07:00

To say I love music would be some sort of travesty of an understatement.

There's something about hearing the perfect song for your mood that just can't be put into words. Melody and metaphor combining into some divine amalgam that lifts your soul to another plane. If sunsets are one of the greatest examples that the Lord exists -- and I believe they are -- then music is one of the greatest examples that He creates amazing things through us. The blessing of talent manifests itself in many ways and for those who make music, I am very thankful.

It is my life metronome, my heartbeat.

Here's just one of the thousands of examples I could think of that moves me like no other:

Gustav Holst, Jupiter from The Planets

2009-10-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

I have learned in my 27-and-however-many-tenths I've lived in my life that no matter how strong my will, if am mindful of His will, His always wins out.

No doubt it took me a while to figure that out -- I'm sorta stubborn -- but one I did, I was liberated.

That's why, in the midst of any uncertainty, I know His will will win out and it will wind up better than I could ever imagine.

Praise be to Him.

Tiny Picture...

2009-10-07T22:22:00.000-07:00

But a big win! Go Blue!

Narcissism Incarnate

2009-10-05T19:56:00.000-07:00

Tonight, the man, the myth, the legend, Brett Favre is playing against his old team, the Green Bay Packers.

Now I'm going to just assume that you all know the story of Mr. Favre -- at least the most recent story of him, anyway -- so I won't get into all that. I just wanted to talk, for a moment, about what it is that makes a man do what Favre did to three professional football teams for three consecutive summers. I'd like, for a bit, to talk about what it is inside of a very select few people who are so wrapped up in themselves that they don't appear to consider how it affects those around them.

It is the case of the supreme narcissist.

It is the case of a man, who has enjoyed immense success in his younger days and therefore believes in his mind that he can do anything, no matter how old.

It's the case that allows Brett Favre to waffle back and forth during the past three summers while the teams for which he's played are forced to sit back and wait for his decision. First, it happened with the Packers...and they decided it was time for him to go because he'd waffled a little the two previous years and they were sick of it.

So, instead of retiring with dignity as a Packers legend, he was traded to the New York Jets, where he splashed onto the scene with plenty of big wins. Eventually, though, his age caught up with him and he tore his bicep. He tried to play through it and ruined the Jets' playoff chances, as they lost the final four games of the season.

This year, he decided to play for the Vikings...after deciding he would stay retired...after deciding he might want to keep playing...after deciding he would stay retired. I have no problem with him wanting to play or thinking he's still got it. My problem with the absolute arrogance of a man who thinks he can dangle multi-million dollar companies based upon his whims. No player is bigger than the sport, but time and time (and time) again, Favre has proven that he'll be damned if he isn't going to try.

People lost their jobs because of him and his waffling ways. He remains indifferent. Earlier this year in an interview for one of the Sunday pre-game shows, he said, "Well, it's my life, so I don't really care what people's opinion is of it."

Well, Brett, when someone gets cut because you decided at the last possible moment that you wanted to play this season despite the fact that you didn't train at all during the offseason, then maybe you should care.

Because, whether he likes it or not, his actions affect others and until realizes that, he'll continue to be categorized as narcissism incarnate.

Haves and Have Nots

2009-10-04T18:31:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this blog by stating that I definitely know I'm a blessed man. I am loved. I have life, a job and a roof over my head. I know how God has blessed me. I'm conscious of it.

I don't have much.

I live in a 97-year-old house with windows painted shut and a shower head that, before it was recently fixed, would pop off at a moment's notice while I cleaned myself.

I do not have enough money to travel to see my family nor my girlfriend, who lives in The District and would like to see me. Because of it, it's left me feeling like I perpetually come up short -- not necessarily the feeling you want to have in a burgeoning relationship.

But I do have a girlfriend who loves me and is willing to travel many miles just to see me, even though she already spends many days a month traveling. Maybe she's just dating me for the miles. ;o)

She is willing to come see me because she knows that, right now, I can't come see her.

And I thank her for that. I appreciate her for that. I am thankful because of that.

Put Up or Shut Up

2009-10-03T19:04:00.000-07:00

For a writer, words are our voice. More than merely the things we write, they are what we use to express our dreams, fears and hopes.

As much as they're an outlet, they can also be a trapping, for me especially. I tend to get lost in my words and sometimes use them as an alternative to acting.

It's time for that to change. My actions must speak louder than my words.

And that's all I have to say about that.

The Block Is Hot

2009-10-01T20:48:00.001-07:00

Recently, a teenager was beaten to death by a swarm of delinquents in Chicago, the area in which I currently live.

He was an honor student.

A video of the beating, in which the 15-year-old was punched repeatedly, kicked mercilously one he hit the ground, then hit with a 2x4 over hit back and head, has been making the rounds on the news channels. Jesse Jackson has arrived. Barack has voiced his opinion. I have not seen the video as a whole, just bits and pieces.

I can't stomach it.
I'm too horrified.

The thought that not one person in this mass of at least 50 teenage boys didn't come to his aid is what troubles me most...aside from the reality that he did nothing to provoke them.

How does NO ONE help?
How does NO ONE intervene?
Where is the conscience of today's youth?

And why is it more concerned with tight jeans and stupid dance moves than whether or not one of it's own is beaten in the street like some unwanted dog?

I am confused and dismayed for our future.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2009-09-28T19:33:00.000-07:00

This is, to be sure, the best time of the year for a sports fan. Oh joy, let me count the ways:

1. Football season is in full swing.
2. Both NHL and NBA are getting started this week, with the NHL starting its season and NBA starting training camp.
3. After what always seems to feel like a looong season, baseball starts winding down, which means playoffs, which for m personally means Dodgers playoffs! And they will ~~not choke~~ win it all this year!

It's just the best and I can't wait to live in the city and go to a corner pub and watch sportivo. Exciting spelled in a six-letter word.

The Future

2009-09-27T22:18:00.001-07:00

No matter what it may hold, the Lord is still sovereign in my life.

His will be done.

Sent from my iPhone

The First Step

2009-09-27T17:36:00.000-07:00

My goal, for both short-and long-term, is to be the best possible Christian I can be.

The first step towards that will be for me to admit that I have slipped in this area. Over the last few years, I have slowly backslid into someone with whom I'm displeased.

I have let my church attendance slide.
My relationship with Him isn't what it should be.

Time to improve.

And then it struck me

2009-09-26T15:36:00.000-07:00

Just got done reading an article on one of my favorite baseball players, Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp. He's an immensely talented young man, who can become one of of the best players ever if everything breaks the right way. He's often overlooked (by fans out of the LA area), used to be undervalued (by fans in the LA area) and ready is to explode onto the scene.

As I read, I got stuck on three sentences down at the bottom of Eric Neel's wonderful work.

Does he embrace the responsibility that comes with his gifts?
Is he honest with himself about those times when he sells them short?
How badly does he want this?

I thought about myself.

Let's get it.

Sunset

2009-09-24T21:48:00.000-07:00

Eyes affixed to the
twinkling lights as they
shined brightly in the night,
I thought
about how even the brightest star
becomes quasar.

Even the biggest suns lose their fire.

Blank

2009-09-23T16:59:00.000-07:00

I'm not one to whine about my problems. Usually the only people who know about them are my closest friends.

I internalize things more often than some, probably not as much as others. Sometimes when it all bubbles up, it makes for a rough day.

Or afternoon.
Or few hours.

God is faithful.

My weekend

2009-09-21T16:45:00.000-07:00

In a picture...

Riding the rails

2009-09-17T22:04:00.001-07:00

Going to spend the weekend in the city with the girlfriend. Shoulbbeca
fun one!

John Eldredge

2009-09-15T21:30:00.001-07:00

I'll get into this a little deeper another time, but John Eldredge is just one of the most amazing authors I've ever read. I thank God for Jessica McAleer, who gave me my first of his books. She's awesome, John's awesome and so is He.

A Bit of a Transition

2009-09-14T18:32:00.000-07:00

So just to let anyone who reads this know, there's going to be a bit of a transition period here in The Chronicles.

In an effort to be a little more consistent, I'm going to try to slide the blog into a more sports-specific medium, since it's what I know best. I'll still have some other things in there, but I've gotta get some sort of consistent talking points.

Stay tuned...

In other news...Monday just sucked. I mean, honestly, the phones never stopped, the work kept coming...it was just...Monday.

thoughts from the weekend

2009-09-13T22:01:00.000-07:00

1. Serena Williams is effing crazy! I now officially feel sorry for Common. Holy cow, buddy, you've got your hands full.

2. Football with friends is always more fun than not.

3. You can never underestimate the value of the Lord working in others towards you. It really is amazing sometimes.

Crazy Weekend

2009-09-12T14:20:00.000-07:00

Football, football, FOOTBALL!

Crazy good weekend of football games.

I'm just excited. Carry on.

Giving Thanks

2009-09-11T16:58:00.000-07:00

To see C. Vivian Stringer being inducted into the Nasmith Basketball Hall of Fame, is to be amazed.

Her work ethic, her determination, her unwillingness to be bowed is something everyone, whether man or woman, can use as a model. But the thing that strikes me the most is her faith.

I won't get into all of the things she's been through, but it's definitely enough to where a normal person, an unfaithful person, probably would have cracked a long time ago. Through it all, she praised the Lord and leaned on Him for strength. Regardless of the difficulty, she found her strength in Him.

A man is only so strong...it's part of our physical limitations. But relying on He who is omnipotent will fortify your soul.

Praise be to Him.

Get on the Good Foot

2009-09-10T19:10:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why I took my unemployment as hard as I did.

Given the arid climate of today's economy, millions of others have come up just as dry as me when looking for work. Whatever the reason, though, I did take it hard.

However, the time has come for me to snap out of it. Too many things to do...gotta get moving.

resisting temptation

2009-09-09T08:24:00.000-07:00

I saw her gazing at me, calling me to her like a siren with her come-hither whispers.

But I resisted. I just couldn't do it.

Maybe next time, Planet Earth, maybe next time.

P.S. I know I've missed a couple days. I'll double-up here soon and make up for it. Promise.

Apologies

2009-09-07T22:42:00.001-07:00

To anyone reading this blog, I'm sorry I've slacked the last couple of
days.

I will make it up, promise.

I must be better.

Always A Reason

2009-09-05T20:38:00.000-07:00

Thank God for showing me that He takes me put of certain situations
for good reason.

Praise be to Him.

Stress

2009-09-03T21:16:00.000-07:00

So, according to my girlfriend, who went on WebMD just to figure out what was wrong with me, it appears I've got some sort of stress-related sickness right now...either tension headaches or something else. I lean towards the flu, but whatever.

I do recognize the need to sleep more and get more rest. Perhaps, dare I say it, a nap?

Who knows, but something's gotta change.

One More Game

2009-09-02T23:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wish I had one more season of football to play. Tonight, while walking to my truck, I could just feel it...football is in the air. I've never really missed playing so much as I do right now with the college season approaching. Well, here, really.

I've always done things to stay close to sports.
Pretty sure the next thing will involve it too.

Dreamy

2009-09-01T21:53:00.001-07:00

So much on my mind...

Very rarely do I remember my dreams, but the ones I do almost always
come true.

No clue what's to come given the last week.

Thank You

2009-08-31T21:35:00.001-07:00

Lord, thank You for stillness and patience and calmness of heart.

I pray that I remain faithful and that the sheep can be tended to and
fed.

Crap, I almost forgot

2009-08-30T23:11:00.000-07:00

This "blogging every day" thing is going to be tough. But keeping my commitment is necessary. I need to be better in many areas, including being a better Christian, but more on that in another blog.

This is supposed to be the busiest week of the year at my company, especially these next two days. I really hope it's not so, but something tells me, I'm in for a loooong couple of days.

Day 18.

Brain Lock

2009-08-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

If nothing else, here's to not forgetting to write today. There is nothing much more to say other than that.

My head hurts.

Let me just say

2009-08-28T18:36:00.000-07:00

It felt good to see Michael Vick happy last night during the Eagles' preseason game.

Hopefully, the joy I saw on his face will continue and manifest itself in living a joyful life.

He made his mistakes, he paid his price.

Time to move on.

Blah

2009-08-27T23:54:00.001-07:00

The more you learn, the more you realize you don't know.

Sent from my iPhone

An Excerpt

2009-08-26T17:10:00.000-07:00

I slowly opened my eyes and looked out the agape double doors with the sheer drapes. I could see nothing but the twinkle of the moonlight on the waves as they crashed against the rocky shoreline.

I sat up, wondering what could have woken me up. I never wake up in the middle of the night without something actually waking me. I wouldn't necessarily call myself a sound sleeper, I can just get through the night. Moving to stand, I looked beyond the shore and walked closer to the drapes.

I looked back to the bed and couldn't see anything. The room remained engulfed in darkness until a light breeze blew one side of the drapes back against my leg. As it did, the moonlight flickered through the cavity and exposed her face. I was compelled to go back to bed.

One Day Away!

2009-08-25T21:54:00.001-07:00

My fantasy football draft is only a day away and I couldn't be more excited for it. Time to smash and dash!

Competition in it's most vicarious form!

The Chubbiassance

2009-08-24T21:51:00.000-07:00

About 3 years ago, I decided I was done being chubby. I worked HARD and lost 60 pounds in about 7 months. The change was dramatic, yes, but I made sure not to go too fast so that I wouldn't bounce back like a rubber band into the atmosphere.

I had no desire to boldly go where my waistline had never gone before.

For 2 years, I'd been able to keep it off without a problem. I would work out every day and was pleased with where I was, even if I felt like I could stand to lose a couple more pounds.

Last year was tough on me. As I dealt with being unemployed, I put a little back on. Not a lot, but enough that I noticed.

Then I moved to Chicago, where my gym isn't, and have slowly started collecting extra, like the bottom of a fast-moving stream. The sediment is being deposited I'm a few key (and familiar) areas.

Forget the Empire, the Chub has struck back.

Time for the re(re)-dedication.

No Pressure

2009-08-23T17:56:00.000-07:00

Usually around my age in life for most people, if they aren't getting married and/or having babies, then it's their friends who are.

For a while I'd been able to avoid it, with only a handful of friends getting married, then last year one of my two best friends got hitched. Now this year, it seems as though everyone and their momma has been doing some sort of joining, be it in holy matrimony or of the X and Y chromosomes.

And yet, I feel no pressure. I know trusting the Lord's plan is always the right thing to do, it's always a winning gameplan.

Praise be to God. He is faithful.

No Mocking Me

2009-08-22T23:53:00.000-07:00

I'm a pretty big fan of fantasy football. I wouldn't say I eat it and sleep it or something like that, but I definitely pay attention to what I'm doing and I always want to win. It's the competitor in me.

Since I enjoy my coworkers so much, and the almost all enjoy football, I figured it would be good to start a league with them. The draft is this Thursday night and to say I've been preparing a little bit would be like saying Adolf Hitler had a couple character flaws.

I've been looking at mock drafts, analyzing projections, thinking about strategies and doing my own mock drafts. So far, so good. There are a lot of smart guys, especially smart football guys. But I like my chances. I'll do some more mocking today.

I don't want to be cocky or anything, but like I said...I like my chances. haha

Day 9

2009-08-21T19:34:00.000-07:00

I have nothing substantive to say.

I love my Dodgers. I wear the colors proudly. I can't wait till the playoffs.

How ironic would it be if they wind up playing the Angels in the World Series?

Ugh. At least there's television...

Nope, nothing substantive.

This might be a long 365.

Double Shot

2009-08-20T19:28:00.000-07:00

I wonder what Plaxico Burress must be thinking right now.

Eighteen months ago, he was catching the touchdown pass that won the Super Bowl for the New York Giants. He was interviewed immediately after and said he felt like he was on top of the world just before he broke into tears. Today, he entered a plea that will, for all intents and purposes, end his career as a professional football player.

So how did we get here? How did someone who finally looked like he'd turned the corner from being a stuck-up prima donna devolve into a prisoner? I remember hearing analysts talk about him after he decided not to re-sign with the Pittsburgh Steelers (or after the Steelers decided they didn't want to re-sign him, depending on who you talk to). They said his career could go one of two ways, either an ascension to stardom or a fall from grace.

Turns out, both happened.

He was so good in Pittsburgh. You could just see he was ready to be something great after being drafted out of Michigan State in 2000. He got back-to-back 1,000-yard seasons in 2001 and 2002, the same year he set the Steelers' single-game receiving record with 253 yards. By the time he went to New York, he was known as a guy who was good, and could be great, but still hadn't taken "the step".

As the No. 1 receiver with the Giants, he eclipsed 1,000 receiving yards twice in the first three seasons and 988 in the other. In 2007, he fulfilled the promise others had seen in him. He played all 16 regular season games, catching 70 passes for 1,025 yards and a career-high 12 touchdowns as the Giants made the postseason for yet another season. Doing something that had never been done before, New York went on to win three straight road playoff games to reach the Super Bowl. In the NFC Championship Game against the Green Bay Packers, in what was the coldest-ever football game played, Plax (pictured above in that game) shined. He caught 11 passes for 151 yards and simply dominated the Packers' physical secondary. Then, against the previously unbeaten and heavily favored New England Patriots, Burress made the biggest catch of his life, even if it was only his second of the game.

Then last season happened...

I don't know if he got too full of himself or if catching that touchdown pass the season prior all of a sudden made him feel bullet-proof, but obviously the events in that night club proved just how mortal he is. After multiple incidents which kept him out of multiple games, Plaxico decided to take a gun into a club and accidentally shot himself in the leg. The subsequent legal troubles and coinciding New York state gun laws have lead to him pleading guilty to a lesser offense than what he'd originally been charged. The sentence will emprison him for two years. At 31, he won't even be eligible to play again until he's 33, not including any extra suspension time he'll face. No team in its right mind would take a chance on him. He's done. His sun has set.

I guess in cosmic terms, there was nothing special about him. He was just like any star.

He flamed out.

Can't Do It

2009-08-19T16:53:00.000-07:00

I stay at work a little later than the rest of my co-workers so I can try to get a little extra done. Some have contended that I might be on the slippery slope towards being a workaholic, but that's another subject for another blog. For now, I'm content to stay late and pump out a few extra questionnaires or do one more data load or whatever I can to make myself useful.

Recently, as I was taking care of a couple of things, the cleaning staff came in. Now normally, there's a guy whose name I can't remember who comes in and we chat about the days events or whatever happens to be on the television screen. Lately, though, the cleaners have been a pair who are decidedly less talkative and definitely a little more suspicious.

Two nights ago, a lady and man came in and did their business and left. But then, about a half hour later, the lady returned and opened the door all sneakily. The second she saw my face, she backed out and closed the door. I just don't trust it. Can't do it.

It's definitely not a racial thing with me. I love all races. Well, except for the America's Cup. Just a little too much yachting if you ask me.

If I notice anything missing, I know the first person I'm fingering.

my eyes hurt

2009-08-18T21:14:00.000-07:00

they are red, swollen and the lids feel heavy.

i almost forgot. then i didn't.

then i had to go somewhere with reception.

Day 6.

if i almost forget SIX days in, what does that say for my future?

ugh.

Dog Dayz of Summer

2009-08-17T18:28:00.000-07:00

There's a place on Interstate 10 inside the Los Angeles city limits where it meets with the I-5 and becomes one freeway. Just before that point comes, though, the 10 winds and bends and contorts itself to get in a position where it can meet up with its busier counterpart.

It was in that place some 15 years ago that I saw one of the most horrible scenes I've ever seen. A stray golden retriever found it's way into the freeway bushes and was attempting to cross the crowded thoroughfare. It darted out in front of a truck and was missed, but the sedan behind it wound up rolling right over its midsection. My mother, who was driving at the time, swerved out of the way as it struggled to get to its feet. I kept watching, terrified as we passed and an RV approached the helpless dog.

I turned away.

I love animals. I had a dog for my entire childhood; we had to put her down just last year due to complications from her old age. Pepper was a good dog, I loved her dearly. I say these things because I don't want there to be any thought that I somehow hate animals or am unsympathetic in some way.

Could people please cut Michael Vick some slack?
I mean, really.

I believe that before getting into the polarizing issue that is Mike Vick, three intrinsic assumptions must be realized:

1. Human Life is More Valuable Than an Animal's: As cold as that may sound, it is and must remain true for the preservation of the species. Yes, animals have taken a special place in many people's hearts, but at the end of the day, a human is more important.

2. Michael Vick is a Human: Despite what some may say about the man now -- and despite his own contributions which have helped others form opinions to the contrary -- Vick is a human being.

3. All Humans Make Mistakes in Judgement: No matter how hard we may try, none of us is perfect. We are not God. We fall short, we make errors. We are flawed. No one is above making a mistake in judgement.

To see those three things, the argument could be that Michael is no human, so those rules don't apply. Nothing could be further from the truth. Regardless of the perceived severity of his acts, he is still a human being. If deadly acts against animals is the threshold for inhumanity, why are bullfighters so adored in Spain, cheered as they repeatedly and playfully stab a young bull to death? Why are circuses still allowed to continue, selling out from Los Angeles to Chicago the New England? Are those people somehow disqualified from humanity? It's all about perception.

When it was announced that Vick signed with the Eagles, the president of PETA wrote a scathing press release, going into great detail as to the things Michael had done to dogs. What I think they forgot was that Vick had already paid his legal debt to society. If the federal government can forgive him of his sins, why can't we?

Day 5.

are you ready?

2009-08-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

Every year, the arrival of football season hits me like a kid who realizes it's the day before Christmas Eve.

Wait, you mean Santa's coming tomorrow night? Oh crap, I think I'm excited!

So yea, needless to say I'm binging on all these NFL preseason games. I love baseball, particularly the Dodgers, but every year, right around this time, I'm reminded just how much more I love football.

I may have a problem.

It's FOOOOOOOOTBALL SEASON!

Arachnids? No Phobia.

2009-08-15T20:15:00.000-07:00

I hate spiders.

Let me be clear...I'm not afraid of them. I don't have some deep, dark idea that they're going to bite me and kill me or something. Simply, I just don't like them.

When I lived back home, they would be everywhere in my garage and spin webs on my truck. A few times I found them actually hanging off my window sill, just waiting to fall onto my shoulder. Too many times I found myself in a fight, searching for the guerrilla arachnids. I thought once I'd moved that I'd be done with the truck-loving bugs, but it turns out I was just getting started.

Day after day, I wake up to find silky strands on my side mirrors and in the bed of the truck. I went searching for one about a week ago and found one...although, it turns out it wasn't the one I was looking for, but an additional one that I wound up attacking with Febreze.

Still not sure if I actually killed that one.
He'll probably be back.
They always come back.

I awoke this morning to strands all over my passenger-side mirror. They extended all the way up to the top of my door and back to the back of the cabin. I took them down, but I have a feeling they'll be back up in the AM.

I win the battles, but I think they may be winning the war.

Pumping Irony

2009-08-14T18:57:00.000-07:00

So...

Day 2. I haven't tapped out yet, so that's good. The last time I tried to blog more consistently, things didn't go well. Carnage ensued. I've always struggled with being consistent with this thing. If you look back through my archives, there's no rhyme or reason. I'll go three months of writing and then take four off. Maybe that's why I think this little "every day" experiment will be good for me. Maybe I'll be able to talk some things out and bring humor to others. Who knows.

One thing of which I'm sure is that it'll be good for me to have an outlet for my writing. Right now, the extent of it is contained in the emails I send to clients letting them know I finished loading their data. To be sure, this job is a blessing. It just doesn't allow me to write anymore. My girlfriend has been imploring me to write more, insisting that "you brain is a muscle and if you aren't working it out, then it won't be strong."

It's true. It's not like I don't know that, but it's always good to have someone encouraging you. And, since I've stopped writing, I've felt like I've slipped a little both in conversation and written word.

So yea...I hope this helps. I think it will. My muscles may have atrophied a bit, but I can get back into game shape.

really?

2009-08-13T22:06:00.000-07:00

So, I saw Julie and Julia on Saturday. Yes, I was coerced, but that's not the point. The woman in the story, the Julie girl, decided to blog every day for a year. It kind of got me thinking...could I do that?

Who knows, but I'm willing (or naive enough) to give it a shot.

So...here we go. Here's to hoping I don't run out of steam after the first week.

Lord, help me.

Day 1