(Soooo...that was a little longer "tomorrow" than I'd anticipated. Oops.)
My dating history is like one cautionary tale after another. That's not to say these ladies are bad people or whatever, but just aren't right with/for me. Most of them I've known -- on some level -- from the beginning.
In thinking about all this, I think I've really gotten down to the true root of it, but that's a little too personal for a public blog, so if you'd like to know you can ask. But I do believe I've nailed it down. I hope that it leads to meaningful growth with or without someone.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Revelation
I've been rattling something around in my head for the last few days and it's too late to give the full hypothesis right now, so I'll just leave it by saying this...
I sabotage my own relationships.
More on this soon, most likely tomorrow.
I sabotage my own relationships.
More on this soon, most likely tomorrow.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Amazing
Ever since my best friend Ryan* met his now wife Holly, my other best friend Josh and I have had a code for saying that a girl was marriage material.
After Ryan and Holly had been dating for a little while, he mentioned to us how she was amaaaaaazing. He might as well have been exhaling while he said it because we could just tell he was gone. He may not have told her he loved her for a bit after that and he may not have even known he did at the time, but it was pretty clear his heart was wrapped up in all things Holly.
So now, whenever we hear that one of us is seeing someone, we always ask the question:
But is she amaaaaazing?
More often than not, the answer comes back with a no. Since neither of us are in a relationship with marriage potential, I guess it's more than "more often than not." But it helps give us a guideline to go by. We could see the look in Ryan's eye, so now we actually know what it looks like. Artwork is much easier with a template as a guide.
As we get older and our friends have their own families with wives and kids and mortgages, it becomes more glaringly obvious that we don't have those things. I always thought once one of us got married, there would be palpable pressure on the other two. While it has been a learning experience at times adjusting to someone who has a different set of priorities now, it's also been much easier than previously thought to simply include Holly into our activities. And we've been blessed by her presence. Ryan knew what he was talking about. She is amazing.
But if ever there are times when there is a little pressure, maybe from parents or other friends, it helps to have someone in the same boat. A couple nights ago, we were talking about the difference between the ladies we normally go after versus the ones who'd be best for us. I mentioned how we shouldn't go into any situation knowing something would have to change for it to work out. Compatibility is hard enough without adding elements to the obstacle course.
It's easier to find a rose in a rose garden than in the desert. And if you look in the right place, who knows...might even find and amazing one.
*Ryan and Holly happen to be in Lebanon right now, doing some great things for a wonderful organization. No matter where they go next, I'm sure they'll leave their marks.
After Ryan and Holly had been dating for a little while, he mentioned to us how she was amaaaaaazing. He might as well have been exhaling while he said it because we could just tell he was gone. He may not have told her he loved her for a bit after that and he may not have even known he did at the time, but it was pretty clear his heart was wrapped up in all things Holly.
So now, whenever we hear that one of us is seeing someone, we always ask the question:
But is she amaaaaazing?
More often than not, the answer comes back with a no. Since neither of us are in a relationship with marriage potential, I guess it's more than "more often than not." But it helps give us a guideline to go by. We could see the look in Ryan's eye, so now we actually know what it looks like. Artwork is much easier with a template as a guide.
As we get older and our friends have their own families with wives and kids and mortgages, it becomes more glaringly obvious that we don't have those things. I always thought once one of us got married, there would be palpable pressure on the other two. While it has been a learning experience at times adjusting to someone who has a different set of priorities now, it's also been much easier than previously thought to simply include Holly into our activities. And we've been blessed by her presence. Ryan knew what he was talking about. She is amazing.
But if ever there are times when there is a little pressure, maybe from parents or other friends, it helps to have someone in the same boat. A couple nights ago, we were talking about the difference between the ladies we normally go after versus the ones who'd be best for us. I mentioned how we shouldn't go into any situation knowing something would have to change for it to work out. Compatibility is hard enough without adding elements to the obstacle course.
It's easier to find a rose in a rose garden than in the desert. And if you look in the right place, who knows...might even find and amazing one.
*Ryan and Holly happen to be in Lebanon right now, doing some great things for a wonderful organization. No matter where they go next, I'm sure they'll leave their marks.
Friday, December 24, 2010
The Happiest Time of Year
Normally, I'm a huge sucker for Christmas. It's always been my favorite time of year and Christmas Eve has consistently been perched atop my rankings for favorite day of the year. What began as a youthful infatuation with getting presents has evolved into a love of the time and atmosphere.
It's not the gifts that you remember years later, it's the way the Christmas tree smelled as you brought it into the house. Or how you nervously looked out the side mirror, praying that you wouldn't see an arbor silhouette cascading down the side of the car, backlit by the bokeh headlights of the cars behind you.
When we think back, it's all about the senses we felt, not the stuff we got.
Unfortunately, this year is being dominated by some pretty overwhelming feelings. It was a pretty tough year for me personally and it seems to be going out with a bang, crippling my mother's boyfriend along the way.
Being happy around this time wasn't a task growing up; it just was. This year it's been a hike. Long, slow and painful.
It's not the gifts that you remember years later, it's the way the Christmas tree smelled as you brought it into the house. Or how you nervously looked out the side mirror, praying that you wouldn't see an arbor silhouette cascading down the side of the car, backlit by the bokeh headlights of the cars behind you.
When we think back, it's all about the senses we felt, not the stuff we got.
Unfortunately, this year is being dominated by some pretty overwhelming feelings. It was a pretty tough year for me personally and it seems to be going out with a bang, crippling my mother's boyfriend along the way.
Being happy around this time wasn't a task growing up; it just was. This year it's been a hike. Long, slow and painful.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Strong Cup of Coffee
Second-year San Francisco 49ers running back Glen Coffee retired yesterday.
Now, taken at face value, it's probably a little startling but not incredibly so. After all, the average career span of an NFL running back is 1.5 years, 3.5 years when all positions are factored into the equation. Anyone who's played football has had to retire at some point in their lives. I retired about five years ago.
Even Brett Favre will have to retire at some point.
What makes Coffee's retirement so shocking -- aside from the fact that he was the main back-up to an oft-injured player on a team projected to win somewhere around 10 games this season -- is his reasoning for walking away.
It wasn't what God wanted.
From all that I've read about him coming out of Alabama and now in the pros, Coffee is a deeply spiritual man who listens to his conscience. He listens to the Lord.
How many times have we all known in our hearts what He wanted for us, what He wanted us to do, and have chosen to instead do what we want. Sure, He puts things on our hearts, but there are times when our desires don't match His.
Here's a Q&A where he explains his rationale behind his decision.
I wouldn't be surprised if some fans and members of the media pan Coffee for being selfish and not thinking about his teammates, but until you walk with Him, you can't understand a decision like this.
Even if they do come, something tells me Coffee wouldn't care too much about that. He lives for the eternal; who cares what people say?
Now, taken at face value, it's probably a little startling but not incredibly so. After all, the average career span of an NFL running back is 1.5 years, 3.5 years when all positions are factored into the equation. Anyone who's played football has had to retire at some point in their lives. I retired about five years ago.
Even Brett Favre will have to retire at some point.
What makes Coffee's retirement so shocking -- aside from the fact that he was the main back-up to an oft-injured player on a team projected to win somewhere around 10 games this season -- is his reasoning for walking away.
It wasn't what God wanted.
From all that I've read about him coming out of Alabama and now in the pros, Coffee is a deeply spiritual man who listens to his conscience. He listens to the Lord.
How many times have we all known in our hearts what He wanted for us, what He wanted us to do, and have chosen to instead do what we want. Sure, He puts things on our hearts, but there are times when our desires don't match His.
Here's a Q&A where he explains his rationale behind his decision.
I wouldn't be surprised if some fans and members of the media pan Coffee for being selfish and not thinking about his teammates, but until you walk with Him, you can't understand a decision like this.
Even if they do come, something tells me Coffee wouldn't care too much about that. He lives for the eternal; who cares what people say?
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Sweet Mama Jamba
This week has been crazy at work... and it only gets worse from here, till about September 14th, anyway.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Dear Mr. Body Odor
Dear Mr. B.O.,
Let's call you Bo for short. I've been trying hard to avoid saying anything about this, so please excuse the length at which I'm going to go into this. Alas, sir, you've given me no choice.
I'm a big Seinfeld fan, but whenever I'd watch the episode where Jerry's valet has such bad body odor that it envelops Jerry's car to the point where he'd just give it away, I'd have a disconnect. I could never fully understand that scenario. Until now.
Let me just say that I love your work ethic. Whether I go in the morning or at night, it seems like you're there, about to put in some work. It may be that level of work, however, that has given you the strongest body odor I've ever smelled in my entire life. It is beyond b.o.
It overwhelms me.
Overpowers me.
It makes me want to stop working out, literally. I want to just stop what I'm doing and walk out of the building so that I can get some air. In those moments, I'll do anything to get some relief.
Honestly, I don't understand how others can be near you, Bo. I see you talking to them and I wonder whether or not their oflactory receptors are malfunctioning. I assure you that mine are not, sir. So please, PLEASE(!) put on some deodorant so that you can, you know, not smell like a Turkish sewer.
Thanks.
Your's Truly,
Sean
Let's call you Bo for short. I've been trying hard to avoid saying anything about this, so please excuse the length at which I'm going to go into this. Alas, sir, you've given me no choice.
I'm a big Seinfeld fan, but whenever I'd watch the episode where Jerry's valet has such bad body odor that it envelops Jerry's car to the point where he'd just give it away, I'd have a disconnect. I could never fully understand that scenario. Until now.
Let me just say that I love your work ethic. Whether I go in the morning or at night, it seems like you're there, about to put in some work. It may be that level of work, however, that has given you the strongest body odor I've ever smelled in my entire life. It is beyond b.o.
It overwhelms me.
Overpowers me.
It makes me want to stop working out, literally. I want to just stop what I'm doing and walk out of the building so that I can get some air. In those moments, I'll do anything to get some relief.
Honestly, I don't understand how others can be near you, Bo. I see you talking to them and I wonder whether or not their oflactory receptors are malfunctioning. I assure you that mine are not, sir. So please, PLEASE(!) put on some deodorant so that you can, you know, not smell like a Turkish sewer.
Thanks.
Your's Truly,
Sean
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