ugh

As I sit here, the taste of Cabernet on my tongue, the sound of Kanye West in my ears, Bill Clinton's Giving and my cell phone to my left and a rerun of Sex In The City to my right, I can't stay still. Well, mentally at least. There's so much going on and nothing that can really be done about it all.

At least I don't think, anyway.

It feels like it's all stuff I need to be patient about, but patience has never been a strongsuit of mine. I like things to get done now. Maybe even yesterday.

Another flaw, perhaps even bigger, if we're going to judge blemish intensity, is my absolute distaste for being wrong. Now, hear me right; I have no problem admitting I don't know something. But if I think I know and it turns out I was wrong...well that just doesn't sit well.

I guess that's why I'm all out of it and stuff. My two biggest flaws are being tested at the same time and it's all I can do to keep from just turning off my cell phone and taking a trip to Monterrey or something. Job status is still pending and I just have a hard time believing she wasn't the one...still...after more than two years. It's hard to imagine someone getting me better or making me laugh harder or make me forget about everything else going on in the world better than she does. I don't know...and that frustrates me.

I can't imagine a job better suited for what I bring to the table, but I probably won't even hear whether or not I'm even being considered for a few more weeks. My patience is waning.

Ugh.
Lord, give me the strength.

The Transition

Earlier tonight, I applied to a job that, should I be lucky enough to get, would change my life in a few different areas.

For all the confidence about the transition I've displayed recently, I'm not too proud to admit I'm feeling a little scared about it all. But I trust God. He is faithful.

That is all.
More later.

Gimme some more!

unfortunately, that headline wasn't in reference to my favorite has-been-whose-career-was-unexplainably-successful-until-she-married-a-deadbeat-and-had-his-kid-and-then-as-soon-as-she-could-get-back-at-it-she-got-pregnant-again musical artist. no, i don't talk about poor, poor rich britney.

no, i'm merely talking about a real problem for me. yes, you know what i'm talking about:

books.

i went to barnes and noble today, which for me is always an adventure. when i traverse a bookstore, it's never will sean buy a book, but how many books will sean buy? something always catches the eye. the same was true this day.

i've been interested in reading Quiet Strength by Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy. he's a real-deal Christian and so i've been excited to listen to how he goes about coaching a team with many different beliefs from a Jesus-centered background. so, of course, when i saw it, it was in my hand before i knew its price.

just above it on the "new arrivals" shelf was Bill Clinton's Giving, which i saw oprah talk about and i thought might be interesting given that Slick Willy has pretty much turned his post-presidency life into being a global embassador. it'll be nice to see what he has to say about giving to others and how he extolls the virtues of its nature. so yes, i bought that one too.

then, as i was looking at the bio/autobio area (a truly dangerous act for me and my pocketbook), i happened upon Che, which has been haunting me for over a year. every time i see it, i want to buy it, but i've already got something else in my hand, so i turn it loose and move on as Che's upturned face on the cover looks at me with disapproval. he can finally be proud. i purchased the best-selling biography about the man who revolutionized mexico and forever made it ok for his face to be on the shirts of rebellious youth and famous people.

so, if you missed that tally, it's....

Quiet Strength by Tony Dungy
Giving by William Jefferson Clinton
and
Che by a guy i can't remember right now

they're now on my bookshelf and i just realized i could have paid less for them had i gone through amazon. oh well. agree to disagree.


oh! and kanye's cd is officially here. i hope he murders 50 cent! well, not in real life. that wouldn't be so good. only in record sales. yes, only in record sales. remember folks: buy kanye, spurn 50.

I've got another blog

Yup, that's right.

I don't have much to say in this one, other than that I'm most likely going to start writing more on here than on the old MySpace one. I don't know. We'll see.

So anyway...Hi. Hope you all enjoy my little scribblings.
All two (or three) of you.