anyone got a blunt object?

this is going to be short because i'm pretty tired and i promised the next blog would be a happy, uplifting one and this definitely isn't that.

(btw, who am i promising? i'm pretty sure NOBODY reads these things. well, maybe some people hired by the bush administration because once i voted for al gore in the 2000 election, all of a sudden my voter registration was revoked and i had to do it again. coincidence? i don't know...)

i don't have love figured out by any means. sure, i can give advice, but when it comes to my own love life -- or just relationship life, i guess -- i'm like a tadpole trying to swim in the deep end, just floundering about, trying to touch the bottom so i don't drown.

i can't get her out of my head.
i keep trying.
NOTHING is working.
not that i really want to forget her or anything that happened, but in order to remain a sane individual, it's best that i try to. i hope someone understands that and that i'm not mad already.

if i had my way...well, i'm not going to say what would be different. but things would be different.

i could use some good news

so...yet another possible employer let me know that despite my "great qualifications" and "immense potential" and "obvious skill," i wasn't quite good enough to work for them. it's funny how often i've heard that in this whole process. not really funny "ha-ha," but funny interesting that kinda leaves you wondering if you'll ever be good enough. it's the fourth or fifth place to let me know they loved me...just not enough to hire me. good times.

it follows along a nice little pattern that i'd rather not discuss. so yes...

it seems i only use this blog for bad times. my other one gets much more love. neglect is never good. i'll try to redeem myself and much like my good friend (and best friend's fiance) holly snyder, be more entertaining. my dronings are enough to give someone a personality disorder.

oh! one good thing...i'm going to the dodgers game on wednesday! let's hope it doesn't get rained out. there's a system supposedly coming through that day.