Amazing

Ever since my best friend Ryan* met his now wife Holly, my other best friend Josh and I have had a code for saying that a girl was marriage material.

After Ryan and Holly had been dating for a little while, he mentioned to us how she was amaaaaaazing. He might as well have been exhaling while he said it because we could just tell he was gone. He may not have told her he loved her for a bit after that and he may not have even known he did at the time, but it was pretty clear his heart was wrapped up in all things Holly.

So now, whenever we hear that one of us is seeing someone, we always ask the question:

But is she amaaaaazing?

More often than not, the answer comes back with a no. Since neither of us are in a relationship with marriage potential, I guess it's more than "more often than not." But it helps give us a guideline to go by. We could see the look in Ryan's eye, so now we actually know what it looks like. Artwork is much easier with a template as a guide.

As we get older and our friends have their own families with wives and kids and mortgages, it becomes more glaringly obvious that we don't have those things. I always thought once one of us got married, there would be palpable pressure on the other two. While it has been a learning experience at times adjusting to someone who has a different set of priorities now, it's also been much easier than previously thought to simply include Holly into our activities. And we've been blessed by her presence. Ryan knew what he was talking about. She is amazing.

But if ever there are times when there is a little pressure, maybe from parents or other friends, it helps to have someone in the same boat. A couple nights ago, we were talking about the difference between the ladies we normally go after versus the ones who'd be best for us. I mentioned how we shouldn't go into any situation knowing something would have to change for it to work out. Compatibility is hard enough without adding elements to the obstacle course.

It's easier to find a rose in a rose garden than in the desert. And if you look in the right place, who knows...might even find and amazing one.


*Ryan and Holly happen to be in Lebanon right now, doing some great things for a wonderful organization. No matter where they go next, I'm sure they'll leave their marks.

The Happiest Time of Year

Normally, I'm a huge sucker for Christmas. It's always been my favorite time of year and Christmas Eve has consistently been perched atop my rankings for favorite day of the year. What began as a youthful infatuation with getting presents has evolved into a love of the time and atmosphere.

It's not the gifts that you remember years later, it's the way the Christmas tree smelled as you brought it into the house. Or how you nervously looked out the side mirror, praying that you wouldn't see an arbor silhouette cascading down the side of the car, backlit by the bokeh headlights of the cars behind you.

When we think back, it's all about the senses we felt, not the stuff we got.

Unfortunately, this year is being dominated by some pretty overwhelming feelings. It was a pretty tough year for me personally and it seems to be going out with a bang, crippling my mother's boyfriend along the way.

Being happy around this time wasn't a task growing up; it just was. This year it's been a hike. Long, slow and painful.