behind the curtains

Hello all (2 of you).

I'm siting here in my empty apartment with a glass of cheap Caberney beside me trying out something new.

A friend of mine, the illustrious Miss Johnica Reed (who is a pretty good writer, btw), did enough cajoling to get me to try to start writing more consistently.

"When I mention you to people, I tell them you're a writer."

I certainly live like a writer, as my singular chair sitting in the middle of a blank apartment can attest. I live check to check and still feel the stressors of my childhood, which I believed a college diploma and steady job immediately out of school could at least stay if not prevent. I have a t.v. which only works with a trusty digital conversion box attached to it like an I.V. drip. One of the boxes I used to transport my stuff from one side of the country to another is my endtable while most of the rest sit in my breakfast nook, waiting for the joy of getting some fresh Midwest air. I guess I'm somewhat the same way.

So far, living here has been interesting. Not interesting haha or interesting weird, but interesting like a Sidney Pollock painting. Everything has been thrown at me all at once and I'm still trying to figure out what means what. Is that splash of green over in the corner supposed to spell my longterm happiness? What about the little dots in all those colors down at the bottom? Is that representing all the new friends I've made or, rather, the ones I left behind even as they voiced their displeasure that I was actually leaving?

No doubt, my life feels a bit like an unfinished mosaic right now and all the pieces look way more daunting to put together than just watch them as they are. The good thing, though, is that I'm confident in God's plan for my life. I know without that, I'd be lost. When I think back over the last 16 months of my life, I can't imagine where I'd be without a Fatherly influence. It'd be bad for business, without a doubt. He is faithful.

It is that which I lean upon that gives me comfort in these uncertain times. The future is a blank canvas, waiting for me to start painting...better yet, an art show I've yet to see, unsure of the beautiful work the Artist has done.

A few months in, it still feels like the curtains are drawn.
I can't wait for the unveiling.
Should be awesome.