Romancing The Love

So, what is this silly thing called love?

Recently, I've had discussions with plenty of people on the subject. I'm what can probably be called a classic romantic. I like to do things for the lady I'm involved with or like and enjoy the wooing process. I guess you could call it courting, but I'm not sure that term has been actively used in the last 50 years. Most of my conversations -- all, in fact -- came with people who do not consider themselves "romantic" by any means. They'd prefer to call themselves "realistic."

Now, this I have a hard time understanding. Since when does being romantic somehow absolve the ability to be realistic? I'd like to think of myself as a pretty logical guy. When people come to me with problems or matters of the heart, I'm usually going to break it down logically before I do anything else. It is also true, though, that I don't always follow my own advice. Either way, I don't see how being romantic and realistic have to be mutually exclusive.

Not all reality is loving, but love is real, no?
Exactly.
But here's where it starts to get tricky...

I was talking to my mentor about things related to this and he completely separated romance from love. "Romance comes and goes," he explained, "but love is built over time and endures through time, if properly worked on. " He went on, saying, "Marriages built on romantic feelings alone will quickly die. Those feelings don't last. That isn't love; it takes hard work."

Now, I know there's a difference between romance and love, but I'd never heard the contrast being made so sternly before. I've heard couples who've been married for longer than I've been alive say that the key to maintaining their marriage has been the fact that they never let the romance die, that they still do those little things to let the other person know they love each other.

I've also heard of couples who don't do any of those "special" things and still manage to make it together for decades. I guess they've had to work on it a little more.

Love should be a verb, not a noun, I know this.

But there's also something about it that makes it so special that everyone on this Earth looks for it. Think about that...everyone. Whether they admit it or not or even realize it or not. Sure, it manifests itself in other ways for some, but it all comes down to one little four-letter word.

I believe in love as a force. I believe that it can transcend time and age and distance. I do believe in soulmates, that there are those people out there meant for us and if we follow His plan, we'll find them. Or they'll find us. Or we'll find each other...however you want to say it.

It may be an old-school thought process, but I've seen it first-hand with Ryan and Holly (even if he doesn't believe in souls). I knew from very early on with them that they were getting married. God knows when and where and how and the other W's in the equation. I guess it's just up to us to trust Him and let the love -- with or without romance -- flow freely.