My eyelids burned even before I opened them. The sunlight pierced through as I squinted them open. I didn't want to wake up. I knew nothing had changed from the night before, when I'd spent to much time thinking about the way things should have been. I was tired of thinking about it, tired of trying without getting any results for my efforts, tired of my laboring without any fruit sprouting. I'd felt defeat before, but never like this...and every time I staggered to my feet, something else would take my breath. Like trying to stay upright on a floor full of ball bearings, I awoke uneasy, hesitant and unwilling to move.
I turned my head to look at the clock, the alarm of which had been going off for some 10 minutes before my brain decided to acknowledge it and wake me up. I stared at the colon until the numbers blurred and lay there motionless. After a few minutes, I pulled the dirty blanket off me, sat up for a second and walked to the bathroom to shower. Whether I liked it or not, it was time for another day.
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